Although critics may say it is nothing more than a “Hallmark holiday,” I say any excuse to celebrate love is great even if it is largely commercialized, especially Valentine’s Day.
Maybe a little obvious, considering the title of this column has Cupid in the name, but I am a firm believer that love makes the world go around. However, love, or the idea of it, varies from person to person — fluid and different based on context and relationship. Although we can see a lot of content for Valentine’s Day, Galentine’s and Guyentines on the rise, there are just a few things I want people to keep in mind when it comes to relationships.
First and foremost, saying “communication is key” is meaningless if the communication is not understood; comprehension matters just as much if not more. With this goes in tandem with the saying of “if he wanted to, he would.” Before self-sabotaging and believing your partner does not care, double check that you took the time to communicate your needs and the severity of them. Making the passive comment, “I love flowers,” does not mean that your partner should automatically understand that you want them to purchase you flowers, even if it is obvious to you. Additionally, the belief that asking for things takes away from its sentimental value is ridiculous. What matters the most is your partners response when you do ask for something.
Second, we all need to recognize the difference between the “bare minimum” and “princess treatment.” When I see posts on Instagram idolizing basic behaviors, i.e. no one goes to bed upset, there is active communication and there are healthy boundaries, is “princess treatment,” I cannot help but laugh. Please, do not be ridiculous. Treating you like a human being and caring for you as such is the bare minimum. Stop glorifying mediocre behavior because you want to cope and think your partner is “one of the good ones” for using human decency. Additionally, people are allowed to want to be treated like a princess, but it is also important to realize that lifestyle is not realistic for everyone. Do not let anyone tell you the bare minimum is acceptable because doing more will come easily to someone who loves you.
Finally, comparison is the thief of joy. Easier said than done, I know, but comparing your relationship to one you see online with millions of followers will do nothing beneficial. “Surprise” gifts and dates planned for the sole purpose of content creation is not the same thing as a true surprise gift from a partner. Feeding unhealthy expectations under the guise of a loving, doting relationship is just another way to sabotage a real relationship without the monetization.
There is so much all around us when it comes to what the perfect date, gift and relationship is, but there is not much talk about how to actually achieve it. Take a deep breath and remember you are a real person with real feelings. Take this Valentine’s Day to love those who matter in your life the way you want to, not what gets posted online, and I wish you all a wonderful day of love.
