We all know that one person who just cannot stand to be single, so that may not be an option for them, hence they probably have experience in a toxic dating trend called “monkey-barring.”
Monkey-barring has become quite popular especially among Generation Z, even though it dates back to a 10-year-old Reddit post, according to Cosmopolitan. While this trend is not brand new, it has recently been making the rounds online. Some may be familiar with this —whether they have heard it floating around or have participated in it, and some may be wondering what in the world that even is.
Monkey-barring is when someone in a relationship decides to hold on to that relationship for as long as they can until they have found someone else to move on with. This is nothing new. This way of dating has been around for much longer than the term for it has been, but more eyes are glancing toward this way of romance.
The reasoning for people participating in this may not be something that everyone thinks of or is aware of. Professor of Sociology Amanda Miller said that the real reason behind why people choose to participate in this is for safety. Miller adds that all transitions are scary, and so feeling that safety factor can ease the fear of leaving a relationship.
“Part of why people do that is that transition is scary,” Miller said. “Having a partner waiting in the wings for you, as you leave one, can make it feel maybe more exciting to leave the relationship as opposed to sad.”
There are multiple things to keep an eye and an ear out for when it comes to monkey barring. Miller mentions signs such as distance, mentioning of a name multiple times, and a sudden change of them hiding their phone or their social media can all be factors in someone who may be swinging on the monkey bar.
Along with the dawn of social media and technology, something that has become more common is ghosting. Miller said that people who may be ghosting a partner should acquire a mature way to speak to the other person in order to successfully end a relationship in an ethically correct fashion.
“A large part of moving from adolescence to adulthood is learning how to have these complicated adult conversations,” Miller said. “They’re never easy, they’re never going to get any easier…[but] you will have done the right thing.”
