The Online Reflector

You see it every day when you are shopping, walking downtown, seeing a movie (sadly, yes, it happens there) and even on dates. We tend to shrug this off as if it doesn’t bother us, but it really does. What is this prominent and distressing issue I am talking about? Texting, and a lot of it.

Texting, and smart phone use in general, is easily the thing people do most on a daily basis. It keeps us informed of everything from who’s saying what, to what’s going on with relatives, or if you are going in to work in the morning or not. It’s hard not to text a friend back for fear he or she will get agitated, think you are ignoring him or her and send the message again. But is it bad manners in certain situations? Absolutely.

Sometimes you are in a conversation with a friend when suddenly that person receives a text. As he or she reads it and responds, everything you just mentioned becomes a blur, and the main focus is now on the phone.

As you talk, you don’t get a single word through to the friend. It could be anything from a recent breakup to general gossip, but no matter how important the conversation was, anything you just said is now gone, unless that person is good at multitasking.

This also occurs during classes, when the professor is giving a lecture and students think it’s right to ignore it. They hide their phones behind the person in front of them and text about whatever is more important to them than the day’s notes. Many people of the technology generation use this as a way to stay current with what everyone is doing on Twitter, Facebook or any other forms of social media one can find on a cell phone.

It’s hard to find someone who doesn’t text these days, but there are ways to do it professionally and courteously. People need to learn to text at appropriate times, and not when having a serious conversation with another person.

If you go on a date to the movies, put the phone away (even though they already tell you on the screen to do so before the movie starts) because the people around you can see your phone glowing, and it’s not only a distraction, but a recurring annoyance.

Another issue is the impoliteness of texting during major events, such as presentations, awards ceremonies or other times that require quiet. Most students have smart phones and touch phones, but that doesn’t mean you can’t hear the thumbs hitting the screen. People know when you are being impolite during these events and may find it hard not to say anything because they don’t want to add to the problem, but they hope you put the phone away. The problem can be avoided by being mature and knowing when it’s appropriate to text and by having respect for those around you.

Texting also affects our communication in other ways, such as the language we use.  A simple “K” can be just as annoying as “ttyl,” “smh” or “lol” when most of the time you really aren’t laughing out loud. It’s a lazy way of talking to people, and some people may feel like they aren’t being listened to because of the shortness of the message. Tone can be interpreted in several different ways and cause problems.

Texting can be a fun and easy way to talk to friends, relatives, co-workers and even professors, but there are ways to do it so it doesn’t seem like you are ignoring people or don’t care about the conversation they are having with you. It is simply a matter of being polite and knowing when is the right time to text.

The next time you are having a conversation with your best friend and you get a text, glance at it, see if it really is that important and make the right decision about whether to text back. Non-verbals say a lot more than actual words, and inappropriate cell phone use can be a very offensive nonverbal. Proper cell phone etiquette will continue to become increasingly important.