The Online Reflector

John Robison, speaker and author of Look Me In The Eye: My Life with Asperger’s, came to the University of Indianapolis Nov. 14 to speak about his book and life.

“Imagine being four or five years old,” Robison said. “Most people remember back to that age in general terms, such as if you were happy or sad. Suppose another kid did not want to play with you. You would run in the house and ask your mom ‘why?’ And it would hurt, since most kids would not be able to understand why so-and-so did not want to play with them.”

Robison was not always aware of his disorder.

“After some self-reflection, I saw I had a childhood with no friends and I felt deflective,” Robison said. “Everyone else was always better, more normal, and I always felt inferior because of that. It was not until I was 40 that I learned about Asperger’s.”

In his speech before a full audience in UIndy Hall, Robison spoke about how knowing he was different affected him as a child.

He had no friends his own age and did not start making friends until he was 13 and went to the computer electronics labs at the university where his father worked.

He made some friends with the graduate students, but most of his time was focused on working on the computers, taking them apart and learning how to put them back again.

After he perfected his skills, he began repairing amplifiers for local bands. This job grew to include regional bands and then-famous rock bands such as Pink Floyd.

At this time, he dropped out of high school, believing he was a failure.

“When you are diagnosed in school as a failure, that is what you always associate failing with. I dropped out because I did not want to fail anymore,” Robison said.

After dropping out, he went on to become the electrical engineer for KISS, designing instruments such as the fire-spitting guitar and several others that were in fact banned by the federal government.

After music, he went on to work for toy manufacturer Milton-Bradley, designing toys for a few years until he quit, feeling like a failure at that job, too, even though in a documentary made years later, the former president of Milton-Bradley praised Robison for his innovations.

He was working as a car mechanic when a friend, a therapist, gave him a brochure about Asperger’s syndrome and suggested that was why he had the issues he did growing up.

“It’s an interesting story,” said freshman human biology major Meredith Makeever. “I admire the fact that he does not let his disability deter him, and that he has been able to make a name for himself. I also liked that he speaks very honestly about common emotions such as loneliness and failure.”

Freshman marketing major David Schlecht was also impacted by Robison’s story.

“The story hits close to home. We have a guy on our floor with autism, and what he [Robison] talks about is exactly what our guy goes through,” Schlecht said. “He seems normal on the outside, but cannot connect to anyone. I like that his [Robison’s] speech cleared up what autism is.”

Robison ended his speech with encouragements for the audience.

“I want to tell all of you, whether you have been diagnosed, know someone who has Asperger’s or even if you do not, that people with Asperger’s and autism are always different, but never disabled. What was bad for me as a child, I now see after many years of self-reflection, has been good to me as an adult,”Robison said. “We do get better with age, so I encourage you to act within the bounds of what is socially acceptable, as I had to learn to do, but to not give up your individuality. It is very possible to balance these two things. Be different.”

Robison is now an adjunct professor at Elms College in Massachusetts, with his own car specialty shop and photography business.  He is a father to a son he calls “Cubby.” His son also has Asperger’s syndrome and a love of chemistry.

“My son has a love of explosives and actually designed one that brought the ATF [Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives] to our house,” Robison said. “They told me, ‘Every year there is a genius Boy Scout who constructs an awe-inspiring explosive that could take out an army. And this, sir, is your year.’”