Self-love: Love yourself so others can
Possibly the hardest thing ever to accept in life is simply yourself. We live our lives every day without taking the necessary time to explore our inner selves and just exactly what we’re all about. Most people don’t experience self-love until they’ve had a tough break up, causing them to be on their own and to re-evaluate all they’ve ever known.
The college experience also can be a phenomenal awakening for people. Your eyes are opened to new possibilities and to truths that might not have been revealed if you had never left behind the small town you call home. But when the feeling of self-love hits you warm in the gut, like biting into a freshly baked sugar cookie on Christmas Eve, it’s the most beautiful feeling in the world; even more beautiful than love itself. No word in the world is strong enough to describe the feeling that we aspire to achieve our whole lives.
It’s more than confidence, it’s more than poise, it’s more than just a word; it’s something you’ll wear for the rest of your life, so wear it proudly for all to see. How can you achieve this, you may ask. The answer is not simple. It takes a lot of time and cultivation. You must be open to who you are with no limits or expectations.
Don’t conform to what others expect of you or want you to be. Believe in yourself, and believe that what you have to offer to others is worthwhile. You are valuable, beautiful and an individual. Be free to be you without fear of rejection, opening yourself up to vulnerability, so that relationships with others are honest and sincere.
If you have trouble with relationships, look at yourself before pointing your finger. You must first love yourself before you can begin to love another. This is where many relationships fail. Insecurities are harmful, not only to your partner, but also to yourself. Relationships tend to lead to dependence on another person instead of being stable and requiring you to rely on yourself.
This doesn’t mean to take self-love to the level of vanity and forget those around you; it simply means to stop being so hard on yourself and discover why you are the wonderful soul that you are. When you can learn to be comfortable in your own skin, and walk a little taller, you not only learn to love yourself, you learn to love those around you as well.
Poet Veronica A. Shoffstall said, “Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.” Instead of waiting around, wallowing in your own self-pity, make a list of all the things that make you beautiful. When you stop focusing on the negative and allow yourself to see your life in a new light, your life will drastically change for the better. You were put here for a purpose, so dig deep and explore what that may be. Volunteer, write, paint, draw, take a walk or do something that makes you feel good inside.
Once you discover yourself, all of the dark days turn into never ending rays of sunshine that warm your soul. The fuzzy feeling you get when you make someone else smile, or the nostalgic reaction when your favorite childhood television show comes on, is similar to the feeling you’ll get when you stop to think of your worth. The reverberating beams of love flowing through every fiber of your body trumps that of any other feeling you have yet to experience.
It took years of heartache, put-downs, let downs and every negative situation imaginable for me to realize the importance of myself. I have so much to offer, why would I not want to spend a little time getting to know the woman that I tried so hard to hide away? And once I found her, it was hard to oppress her any longer; this is why self-love is the most terrifying, electrifying, mind-blowing journey you can decide to take. But when you do, be prepared for a different perspective on life, love and happiness.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.”
