Tossing the scorecard
By James Allen | Entertainment Editor
In the world of American advertisement, sex sells to men. In the world of good guy conversation, a good sex story sells to the guys like cheap beer to a frat house.
When a guy goes on a date, a good story to his friends about his date is usually praised, depending on what happened. However, more often than not, college guys are too worried about improving their sexual stats rather than improving themselves.
Often with the guys, sex is about success rate. When it’s time to talk about a player’s scorecard for the “game,” men are eager to post their own highlights for their friends to see. It is a ritualistic form of bragging rights and earning respect among the guys. But is it really respect or just a way to make us temporarily feel good?
Guys at parties brag about how much action they get. But there is just as much respect for a guy who tells of a great date that ended with cuddling on a couch and watching a movie. For some reason, a simple evening of getting to know someone is overlooked.
Now trust me, I’m not putting down how good sex can be, but isn’t the point of sex to be a shared experience?
Guys can get so wrapped up with physical gratification that they forget sex can be emotionally and mentally satisfying too. A relationship can be a great foundation that leads to a good amount of great sex over time, if you choose. Sex is a choice, and if you rush into it too fast, it can leave you unfulfilled and wanting.
The sad truth is that many guys are just looking to sew the royal oats in as many fields as possible. I used to think the same way. However, this is really just a quick fix. The reason why it never truly satisfies to mess around is that it isn’t real.
Let’s be honest gents, we all deep down want something to make our lives better in not just the short run, but the long run as well. It’s not girly to consider your own feelings when going into a sexual situation.
I have a few good guy friends who simply are not ready to start having sex again. In past relationships, they knew what it meant to share that experience with someone else, and they simply wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.
Sex isn’t something owed to us just because it’s a natural thing. We don’t need to “mingle” with every girl we meet. It’s all in the timing, and when it is right. Sex is a catalyst that can lead to a better bond in a relationship. It can also be a catalyst for emotional pain and regret, for both girls and guys.
We are not just talking about being guys here; we are talking about being men. Women feel the same urges as men do. It’s not like the opportunity won’t present itself. We as men must take responsibility for ourselves but also the real feelings of our partners.
As guys we talk about the “game” as if it is a sport. Well sports normally lead to the goal of a championship. What is the championship of the “game”? There isn’t one, is there? But in a man’s personal life, there can be.
The championship is a happy relationship with love, friendship, trust and understanding.
Stop paying attention to the stats. Be more focused on your own feelings and the feelings of your partner. That is where the true championship lies.
