Promise me forever
Promise me forever
By Carolyn Harless & Ryan McMaster | Photo Editor & Guest
Two years ago, my family doctor decided it was time to retire. No big deal, except that his replacement was a woman. You’d think I’d be more comfortable with this change, but every doctor I have ever seen has been a man (yes, including my gynecologist).
My first visit with my new female doctor was quite the experience. I expected the majority of her questions to parallel those of my previous doctor. Not quite. With a smile on her face and perkiness in her voice, she asked, “So, are you sexually active right now?”
Since my sex life has never been the topic of conversation, I had to wait until embarrassment subsided to a light pink before I could tell her that I have never had sex.
I’m sure 12 years of Catholic schooling and avoiding the wrath of my parents have something to do with my abstinence, but what it all boils down to is that I chose to be abstinent. I chose to save myself for marriage, for the one man with whom I would spend eternity. Luckily, that man feels the same way.
I have been with my fiancé Ryan for three years, and I have never once felt pressured to have sex. Like myself, he believes sex should wait until marriage. We intend on saving that intimate bond for when we become husband and wife. What could be more special than giving yourself, for the first time, to the one you have vowed to spend the rest of your life with?
Yes, we have encountered people who cannot fathom such a concept and always ask the same questions: “If you don’t have sex then how do you know if you two are compatible?” and “If you know you’re going to spend the rest of your lives together then why don’t you just have sex?” Again, it’s simple. First, our relationship is built on love, faith, trust and respect for each other, not on sexual compatibility. If we end up having terrible sex when we get married, then we end up having terrible sex. We will still have our love for one another, and that is what matters most in a marriage. Second, we know that we will spend forever together and that’s what makes it even more special: we have forever.
We’re in love. So why rush?
