Top 10 things to learn from Murphy’s Law about holiday road-travel
By Nicki Crisci
Opinion Editor
1 Anything that goes wrong on the road will happen during the holidays when most stores are closed, disabling chances of buying a quart of oil for the “service engine” light that popped up halfway through the journey.
2 The gas station clerk will tell you to turn right, when you should turn left at the exit, and you will drive two hours in the wrong direction.
3 A charged Ipod will inevitably die at a moment when you need some AC/DC to make the time pass faster and curb your road rage.
4 When you want McDonalds, there will not be one for at least 70 miles.
5 No matter how many times you change lanes, the one you left will always be moving faster.
6 Twenty miles from a Shell station, your gas tank will read dangerously close to empty and you will hit gridlock traffic.
7 No matter how well potty-trained Fido is, and even if you just took him for a walk before getting back in the car, he will go to the bathroom in the passenger seat, and it will be diarrhea.
8 Your urge to use the restroom will increase as you get farther away from a bathroom, which is 30 miles away. And the bathroom you finally find will have no toilet paper.
9 Your car tires will be in perfect condition until you are in bumper-to-bumper traffic on a bridge, and then one tire will go flat.
10 The road less traveled, according to your GPS system and MapQuest, will put you in traffic for two hours, thereby foiling your “I’m saving time” theory.
